The next razor

I used to use ordinary disposable razors. Sometimes I would have to shave the same spot twice. That was annoying but ok.

Then along came the Mach3. Never again would I have to go over the same place twice. Except after a while the first blade got dull, and then the second. And by a while I mean a very short time.

But then came the Quatro, and even though the Mach3 was doing a perfectly good job I bought into the trend because I’m a trend whore. And it felt great. Four blades for god sake. It was like a knife set for my face.

Next I want a hockey mask that I can put on in the morning covered in razorblades. The act of putting it on will shave me completely. I’ll throw it away every week and get another one. Plus if I forget to take it off I’ll still be able to play hockey, which I intend to pick up once the mask comes out.